☯There's a difference between loving the idea of someone and actually loving who they really are.☯

''There's a difference between loving the idea of someone and actually loving who they really are.''

  Do you think people know the difference between loving someone or loving the idea that someone out there cares about them? no.. I don't think so!
  I'm struggling with this thought for days now, and I have to say (and admit) that the reason I didn't have a relationship until now is because I wasn't ready to fall for someone and I didn't want to hurt anyone (including myself) with a stupid decision of making a relationship without me being ready to love someone with all my heart. I know that you don't have to feel ready and that loving someone will come without your permission, but I guess this is what happens when your father (and the person who's your 'hero') never kept his promise to stay home with you. How can I trust people now? I'm not blaming my father. This is my problem and it's my job to find an answer. But seeing my parents's love literally dying over the years was scary, because it made me think that, if this is love..then I don't want this. I'm perfectly ok being alone and having the time of my life with my best friends.

  But lets be honest here, finding someone who actually respects your feelings and who's honest with you and makes you laugh is something that you can't help but have a ''potential love'' for that person. Like, you don't actually love them and you know you don't, it's just too soon for that to happen, but you know you could. You realize that you could easily fall in love with them. It's almost like the bud of a flower,ready to blossom but it's not quite there yet. And you like them a lot, you really do. You think about them often, but you don't love them. You could, though. You know you could.

So yeah, don't know how I should feel right now. But I guess, I'll figure this out. I just need some time to start trusting and loving people without being afraid of the thought that they're gonna get sick of me and leave. That's why I have a relationship, right? I can figure this out with the person I'm with. I should start loving people for me and not for them. I should start loving the feeling of loving someone with all their flaws and imperfections. So todays post should have a title like : Please darling, if you're not ready, don't mess with other peoples feelings..

here's some music ^_^
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In conclusion,  I went out with my friends yesterday and we took some cool pictures and we bought magazines and we went for shopping and it was fun and I love them and that's it :)
have fun xx Fedra