relaxing

  Fashion Institute of Technology's precollege courses are over now and I'm back home spending time with my favorite people and for the first time in my life I feel happy ..not the kind of happy that everyone wants..the kind of happy when you've realized what's important to you and what is worth it and  the kind of happy when you accept your scars and your past and you feel blessed that you didn't give up when you wanted to because you understand all the good things that happened to you when you thought your life is over and yeah..that's pretty much it :)
 
While I'm having my tea, writing this in my garden I feel how much I've changed in a month. Spending time alone makes you grow I guess... but even after all these nights I spent crying in New York I realized that I wasn't crying of sadness, I was crying because for once in my life I had it all and my anxiety didn't want to admit that I could actually make it...but I did. My grades were good I gained confidence and even though it felt like forever I came back home and things are better than ever because my family is happy for me and I'm happy for them being my family and supporting me so much and even though my friends aren't having a good time this summer I have the opportunity to support them.. and try to give them some of my happiness and after my ''experience'' with life so far let them know that it does getting better after time and I'm here for them like they were here for me all this time :)

 Hope you have a great summer! sorry for the lack of posts here I will make it up to you I promise ^.^
xx Fedra