I found myself in the streets of New York,
wandering around new places,
observing faces I didn't know and didn't recognize me.
I walked around like I didn't own anything and anyone, and nobody owned me.
I stopped, I thought I saw your face, but I didn't,
of course I didn't.
There are miles, lands, seas separating our bodies.
This constant need of you against my skin has somehow made my mind paralyzed.
"Oh, there's a boy who has your hair", "there's a boy who has your skin tone", but not exactly.
Not exactly.
See, I know exactly everything there is to know about how you look,
even if an inch of you is missing, I will know.
In times like these, I realize how bad it is being an artist.
I wonder how easy it might be for other people to forget a face,
when I know I'll never forget yours.
On the 10th of June we got two years together.
What is time anyway?
That night, exactly two weeks ago, when you kissed me goodbye,
a thousand pieces of me were left on your lips.
I swear, I thought I knew what loss feels like.
And it's funny, you think I should know by know how to feel pain when someone leaves.
But with you,
that goodbye..
that honest kiss where you held my face in your two hands like you've never touched my face before,
that goodbye was just the edge of something else.
The only thing I could think of was,
"I wish this was a goodnight kiss,
I hate goodbyes,
I lost my home,
I lost my home.
I lost my home..."
I miss you.
I thought I had prepared myself or at least tried to prepare myself for this moment,
but I guess I didn't.
What I miss the most is the way you held my hand when we were walking around.
The way you wanted our hands to be in a certain way and would get uncomfortable if they weren't.
You gave yourself to me in ways no one has ever done it before.
You didn't care about my hands being cold,
you just wanted to make me feel good and warm and loved.
I miss waking up in the morning with a kiss on the forehead.
I miss the ways you cared about me,
I miss your skin and I miss your eyes.
Those clean shapes that form your face,
I swear my love for you can make painters cry,
if they only had my eyes..
When you are such a long time with someone,
and they leave
or you leave
or circumstances make you go on two separate ways,
you have to be very gentle and careful with yourself.
I am left with your absence and a lot of times I stop to wonder if I know who I am without you.
What do I do in my free time?
Do I go on long walks like we used to?
How do I wake up?
How do I sleep without you?
Am I supposed to stop listening to the music we used to love?
And even if I'm not, how can I listen to it when I have connected all of it's lyrics and notes with you?
How often am I allowed to speak for you to people I just met?
I used to talk for you all the time, and now I don't even know what to say.
This is not a happy poem.
It won't end with an inspirational phrase.
This poem is about loss.
And about how beautiful it is to find someone who can make you feel such a spectrum of feelings.
And it's not a "goodbye".
And it's not a "see you later".
I just want to hope and believe that whatever life brings to us,
we will know how lucky we got having each other.
So many people leave this earth without having experienced such simple, happy, pure moments.
My soul saw you and loved you instantly.
My universe has used its stars to write your name.
My sky is your sky.
I love you.
I don't know what the future holds.
I don't know much.
I don't know anything.
But I know that,
I love you.
And I will love you forever.
And even though forever it's just a word,
I know that this tiny piece of universe that I hold in my body
will love you until there's nothing left of me to hold.
I, am so in love with you.
-Faidra Tzedakis
12th June 2015
wandering around new places,
observing faces I didn't know and didn't recognize me.
I walked around like I didn't own anything and anyone, and nobody owned me.
I stopped, I thought I saw your face, but I didn't,
of course I didn't.
There are miles, lands, seas separating our bodies.
This constant need of you against my skin has somehow made my mind paralyzed.
"Oh, there's a boy who has your hair", "there's a boy who has your skin tone", but not exactly.
Not exactly.
See, I know exactly everything there is to know about how you look,
even if an inch of you is missing, I will know.
In times like these, I realize how bad it is being an artist.
I wonder how easy it might be for other people to forget a face,
when I know I'll never forget yours.
On the 10th of June we got two years together.
What is time anyway?
That night, exactly two weeks ago, when you kissed me goodbye,
a thousand pieces of me were left on your lips.
I swear, I thought I knew what loss feels like.
And it's funny, you think I should know by know how to feel pain when someone leaves.
But with you,
that goodbye..
that honest kiss where you held my face in your two hands like you've never touched my face before,
that goodbye was just the edge of something else.
The only thing I could think of was,
"I wish this was a goodnight kiss,
I hate goodbyes,
I lost my home,
I lost my home.
I lost my home..."
I miss you.
I thought I had prepared myself or at least tried to prepare myself for this moment,
but I guess I didn't.
What I miss the most is the way you held my hand when we were walking around.
The way you wanted our hands to be in a certain way and would get uncomfortable if they weren't.
You gave yourself to me in ways no one has ever done it before.
You didn't care about my hands being cold,
you just wanted to make me feel good and warm and loved.
I miss waking up in the morning with a kiss on the forehead.
I miss the ways you cared about me,
I miss your skin and I miss your eyes.
Those clean shapes that form your face,
I swear my love for you can make painters cry,
if they only had my eyes..
When you are such a long time with someone,
and they leave
or you leave
or circumstances make you go on two separate ways,
you have to be very gentle and careful with yourself.
I am left with your absence and a lot of times I stop to wonder if I know who I am without you.
What do I do in my free time?
Do I go on long walks like we used to?
How do I wake up?
How do I sleep without you?
Am I supposed to stop listening to the music we used to love?
And even if I'm not, how can I listen to it when I have connected all of it's lyrics and notes with you?
How often am I allowed to speak for you to people I just met?
I used to talk for you all the time, and now I don't even know what to say.
This is not a happy poem.
It won't end with an inspirational phrase.
This poem is about loss.
And about how beautiful it is to find someone who can make you feel such a spectrum of feelings.
And it's not a "goodbye".
And it's not a "see you later".
I just want to hope and believe that whatever life brings to us,
we will know how lucky we got having each other.
So many people leave this earth without having experienced such simple, happy, pure moments.
My soul saw you and loved you instantly.
My universe has used its stars to write your name.
My sky is your sky.
I love you.
I don't know what the future holds.
I don't know much.
I don't know anything.
But I know that,
I love you.
And I will love you forever.
And even though forever it's just a word,
I know that this tiny piece of universe that I hold in my body
will love you until there's nothing left of me to hold.
I, am so in love with you.
-Faidra Tzedakis
12th June 2015